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49

I Was Going to Ask Her to Marry Me

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Orhan Pamuk:
Kemal’s discovery upon visiting Fusun’s family for dinner after receiving her invitation – that Fusun had married someone else, and that her husband was living with Fusun and her parents in the family home – carries echoes of melodramatic Yesilcam film plots.

After closing the door to the bathroom on the top floor, I decided that my life was no longer in my control, that my connection to Füsun had shaped it into something beyond my free will. Only by believing this could I be happy, could I indeed bear to live. On the little tray before the mirror bearing Füsun’s, Aunt Nesibe’s, and Uncle Tarık’s toothbrushes, as well as shaving soap, brush, and razor, I saw Füsun’s lipstick. I picked it up and sniffed it, then put it into my pocket. 

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